A Blessing – for Dan and Jess’ Wedding

On Ausgust 31, 2024 – Daniel Brandt AND Jessica Kretzschmar – were married.

At the reception, several speeches and toasts were made to the couple. This one is from me, Peter, Dan’s dad.

Hi, I’m Peter, most of you may know me as the father of the groom, Dan’s dad, or just that old guy with Covid – yes I have Covid that’s why I’m trying to stay masked and distant. Sorry to all of you who came here today just to hug me, or kiss me – it ain’t gonna happen!

I’d like to say 3 things today:

But, first let’s talk about pink ping pong balls…no just kidding.

When Jess asked me to speak today, I asked, “for longer or shorter than 60 minutes.” She said, “2 minutes”. I said, “well then that can’t include a joke, can I?” You see one of the “things” Jess and I share is a love for “Dad Jokes” – and most of the time, she and I are alone in that affection. But she said, “Sure, a joke. Could you send it to me?” I said sure. So I looked up the longest dad joke ever told. And came up with the “pink ping pong ball” joke. I sent it to her. She sent a laugh emoji, and said “did you make that up?” I said, “no I found this”. No more reply. I assumed good to go!

I also shared this joke with others in the family. Feedback has been fairly universal.

So leading up today, I felt some pressure to either tell or not tell this joke. And, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be leaving you curious and Jess very relieved, and not tell the joke. Anyone interested, catch up with me later, and I’ll get the joke to you.

So, rather than tell a joke, I’ll try to deliver a blessing to Dan and Jess.

Then Provide a little admonishment, too.

And finally, welcome some very special guests here today.

So, let’s really start here so I don’t go over my 2 minute allotment. Hint, this may go longer.

For the blessing part of this, there’s a little bit of another story. For the last number of years, I’ve been digging deep on my faith. Part of the journey, has been researching and reading what I’ve now begun to call the Hebrew core of my faith, in my case, my Christian faith.

And along with the reading and research part of this, I’ve developed a close friendship with an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi, named Joseph. So, for the last year, since Dan and Jess’ engagement, one of Joseph’s and my key topics of conversation has been the tradition of marriage. And for Joseph, he’s shared what are now considered some ancient traditions. And now, while I’m hardly an expert on Jewish weddings/marriages a couple highlights have stood out.

First during the wedding ceremony itself, there is a time for what are called the “7 Blessings”. I’m hoping this time today, can be that for Dan and Jess.

Secondly, in Joseph’s tradition, marriages are still arranged. The parents of the groom and the bride are responsible for bringing the couple together. This sounds very strange to us, but there are good reasons that this tradition is maintained.

Switching gears a little, I first got to know Jess, 7 years ago, shortly I think after she and Dan started dating. Dan brought her up to our family place in northern MN about this time of year. I had been up there by myself, starting the great put-away, when they got in early on a Saturday evening. It was the first time we’d spent any time to really get to know one another.

We talked about lots of things, our views on society, her studies (to the east at UMD), her recent travels to Asia, lots of stuff. All in the quirky, funny, hilarious style that we know is Jess. At some point, I kinda paused the conversation and said to Jess, “I think I love you.” We all laughed. And I said, “hey I’m serious.”

Seven years have gone by, and here we are. And I’m here to say, if we were following Joseph’s marriage tradition, and arranging marriages for our children, in this case Dan, I’d chose Jess for you.

You may ask why?

Well, we’ve got 4 people in our family. Three of us, if we were using the ancient personality tool called the Enneagram, would be classified as “3s”. This is meaningless to you as just the number, but 3s are one of 9 personalities within the Enneagram.

Threes are known as “The Acheiver”. That sounds good, but for those of you who are not Achievers, we can be a pain in the butt. We get stuff done. We push, sometimes encourage, sometimes just tell, others to get our stuff done. And we always have stuff to get done. It’s never ending.

Well I don’t know what Dan’s Enneagram profile is, but I do know it’s not a “3”. But this is how he grew up, surrounded by 3’s. Can you imagine how he felt?

So now, Jess enters the picture. Jess is also not a “3”. And being around her is often a joyful and hilarious experience. Those who know her, know this. And combining her, with Dan, is something that reflects both her joy, but also brings out Dan’s; his artsy side, his love of nature, his hidden analytical brain, his desire to do well, but mostly it just allows him to relax. It’s natural, he’s with his person.

By themselves, they’re great, but together their potential is greater, for each other, for their immediate families, and perhaps beyond their families into their community. These two have, and this is said in the Bohemian style I think Jess is hoping for today, “groovy super powers” together.

So this is the blessing, or said another way, the wish for a good life for them both. I wish for them to be able to keep tapping into their individual and collective super powers.

So now another gear switch. What “if”, and this is a big “if”, they’re not able to stay within their superpowers? Somehow they let the stresses of life take them away from our superpowers. They start to become people, or that couple that they never intended. They start criticizing. They become resentful. They may withdraw. Or even completely check out.

This is the admonishment, if you two find yourselves either individually, or together, starting down this road, find good help. Nip these tendencies in the bud, don’t let them go. Please!

So, that’s it for what I’d like to say for the blessing to you two. With an admonishment to keep in mind, too.

Now to the task that Jess really wanted me to focus on. We have some very special guests here today from all kinds of places. We’d like to honor you, as our very special guests to Dan and Jess’ day.

What I’m gonna do is throw out locations, and when I do, if that location fits you, stand up, and wave to these others who are also here to come alongside Dan and Jess. And stay standing.

So are you ready? Any questions?

So, let’s try it out.

1. Norway
2. Texas
3. Iowa
4. Kansas
5. New Orleans
6. New York
7. California
8. North Carolina
9. Any other states than Minnesota

Now closed to home:

1. Duluth
2. Other Outstate Minnesota places

Now for people closer to home:

1. Everyone from St. Paul or suburbs east
2. Minneapolis
3. Now, Eden Prairie and other western burbs.
4. And finally, anyone I missed.

Now we should all be standing. You are the special guests! I’d like you all to say in a toast:

To Dan and Jess. “Blessings be on your marriage, forever and ever. Amen”

Now you can be seated again.

And, carry on talking about pink ping pong balls…