Why Easter Feels Different to Me

Easter is supposed to be pure joy—full of proclamations like “Christ is Risen!” and “Jesus Saves!” Yet over the years, I’ve found the day more complex… even perplexing.

Honestly? In many recent Easters, I just haven’t felt it.

Surprised?

After all, isn’t the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus—the cornerstone of Christianity—the very foundation of our faith?

Doesn’t His death and resurrection mean:

• My sins are forgiven? Forgiven by whom for what?
• I’m delivered from Hell? Is Hell real?
• I have eternal life? Eternal versus limited to this life?
• Earthly death isn’t the end? What comes next?
• I’m going to Heaven? What is Heaven?
• My relationship with God is restored? What is it now? What will it be?
• I’m invited into a new way of living—love, service, and humility? If so, why are many Christians so awful?
• God defeats evil? What, wait – where’d evil come from?
• The Hebrew covenant and prophecies are fulfilled? What does this mean?
• A new covenant for humanity and creation has begun? If so, what are the stipulations and terms of this covenant?
• Restoration of creation is underway? Then why is the world falling apart?

These are big, hopeful ideas. But do they all have to be answered with an automatic “yes“? And don’t these ideas, as illustrated, just bring up more questions?

Take Hell, for example. Does Jesus’ resurrection save us from it? Is Hell even real? Or is it a later myth—something absent from both Judaism and early Christianity?

I’ve come to believe it’s a myth.

Would an all-loving, life-giving God create a place of eternal conscious torment for anyone—especially those made in His image?

Here’s where my view has settled:

1. It’s okay to have viewpoints. Somewhere along the way, many churches forgot how to hold and discuss different perspectives without fear.
2. Judaism models a better way. In Jesus’ time, Jewish teachers practiced Midrash—a rich, ongoing conversation about Scripture, exploring meaning and seeking wisdom (defined as aligning with God to discern good from evil). These conversations, recorded in commentaries like the Mishnah, kept multiple viewpoints alive. Why haven’t Christians kept that tradition?
3. God’s love is central. In recent years, I’ve anchored my faith on this truth: God is, above all, love. Every other attribute—power, justice, holiness—flows from this. And that love is most fully revealed in Jesus, who willingly laid down His life for us.

So, back to Easter—yes, it’s the celebration of Jesus’ victory over death. But for me, it’s also an invitation to wrestle with what that victory really means. Not to settle for inherited answers, but to seek truth in the light of God’s love.Why?

So, here’s the the wrestling!

Why Haven’t Christians Kept the Conversation Alive?

In Judaism, it’s normal—expected, even—to wrestle with faith and scripture.
During the Second Temple period (516 BCE – 70 CE), a method called Midrash emerged. It was in full use during Jesus’ lifetime and invited readers to meditate on the Hebrew Scriptures, seeking wisdom—meaning alignment with God to discern good from evil.

Midrash wasn’t just a reading method; it became a rich body of literature, preserving generations of conversations and disagreements. The Mishnah (200 CE) was the first major written collection of Jewish commentary, capturing these diverse viewpoints for all to see.

Why didn’t Christians keep this open, conversational approach?

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Start With a Core Conviction

In recent years, my faith has settled on one central truth: God is all-loving. Everything else—justice, power, holiness—is secondary at best, and even more importantly to be viewed through the lens of love..

And this love is most fully revealed in Jesus of Nazareth—the visible image of what had once been a barely visible God. It’s a love most clearly demonstrated as He sacrificed His earthly life, enduring the ultimate pain and suffering: the worst physical and emotional punishment humanity knew—crucifixion. In that moment, He took on all of humanity’s separation from God, bearing the weight of our sin, and endured the very separation from God itself.

Laying down His life for us was the ultimate act of self-giving love.
But He didn’t stay in the grave. In rising from the dead, He shattered the idea that death is the end and proved that evil and death hold no lasting power over us.

Shouldn’t this be the good news – the gospel we, as Christians are known for?

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Nope – Christianity’s response – fragmention

The church has never been free of disagreement. But instead of embracing dialogue, we’ve fractured.

Christian Tradition	Approx. Denominations
Protestant	~35,000+
Independent/Non-denom	~10,000
Orthodox (Eastern & Oriental)	~20–30
Catholic (Roman & Eastern rites)	1
Total	45,000+

Yes—over 45,000 denominations.

It’s the spiritual equivalent of: “If you won’t play by my rules, I’ll take my ball and go home.”

By contrast, Judaism has remained largely intact, with variations, for millennia. Christianity began splitting about a thousand years in—and after another thousand years, here we are.

Worse, after 380 CE, dissenters were often branded heretics and faced exile or death. Differences became dangerous. Even wars—like the Thirty Years’ War—were fought over doctrine.

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My Experience

I’ve been part of church communities that outwardly aligned with my faith but, beneath the surface, answered foundational questions—Who is God? What is the nature of humanity? What happens after death?—in ways I couldn’t accept. I didn’t always understand why it felt off, but in one case, it caused real stress and spiritual harm.

This year feels different. Study, reflection, and honest questioning have bridged gaps in my understanding. I still believe Jesus lived, died, and rose again to save humanity—and me—but that’s not the whole story. There’s more, and it makes the gospel even more beautiful.

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Mystery and Theories

Much of Christian doctrine isn’t empirically knowable. We hold theories—about salvation (soteriology), the afterlife, and more—because we’re dealing with realities beyond human comprehension. Sometimes these leaps feel inconsistent with God’s love; other times, they fit perfectly with it.

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An Invitation

I believe our diversity of interpretations deserves exploration. As I share my perspectives, I invite you to compare them with your own. I will get things wrong. I welcome disagreement—because dialogue sharpens us.

Here’s where we’ll start:

• What does being “saved” mean?
• How does Easter work in Reformed (Calvinist) theology? Is the believer like a pardoned prisoner?
• How does Easter work in a Jesus-Centered, Covenantal theology? Is the believer like a wayward child returning to a faithful father’s love?
• Hell—no?
• Other questions that emerge along the way

Let’s see where this journey takes us.

Next up: Are you saved? From what?